A look back on Arsenal's Transfer deadline day and the Gareth Bale Galactico show
AFC & Arsene Spender (1) and Transfer Doubters (0) - Make that a fat with capital letters ZERO for the doubters as Wenger went into yoda mode on transfer deadline day. The cheque book force is now strong in that one.
After much ridicule over the £40m-and-a-quid bid for Suarez and the 'Wenger ditherer' criticisms, Arsenal's multilingual coach decided to demonstrate a level of football manager dexterity that David -I got punked-by-Fabregas-Moyes could only dream of.
Because while press and fans were giving Wenger the bum's rush over Suarez and Higuain, the fluent German-speaking coach was busy flexing his linguistic skills. Covertly using his time to persuade one of the world's best number tens, to become his Bergkamp mark II.
Enter Mesut Ozil. The German national team's technically gifted playmaker and the world's best number 10 according to the Special One.
A player quite surprisingly deemed surplus to requirements at Real Madrid, simply because of the shed load of quick cash Los Blancos were prepared to spend on Galactico-in-waiting Gareth Bale.
It is ironic that Spurs best player securing a spot at Madrid enabled Wenger to finally splash the cash with an almost Ivana Trump style abandon.
The moment Ronaldo’s No.1 fan secured his dream move; it was on like Donkey Kong for Arsenal, with transfer drama more fraught than an Eastenders Christmas special.
Twitter was in a frenzied state along with Sky Sports News and their deadline day hosts trending nationally and worldwide. Shouty gob-almighty Jim White dedicated more time than usual to AFC deals.
And what a coup to secure Ozil, after being given the brush off by some of Europe's top footballing totty. Wenger has definitely found his Nemo.
While Arsenal were the subject of plaudits extolled by some football pundits and ecstatic fans deliriously celebrating like the club had finally won that elusive trophy, there were some who felt the buying didn't go far enough. Some have been groaning like blocked drains.
Where's the new striker? We want a shiny new striker like you promised Mr. Wenger!!
What happens if Giroud gets injured or stops scoring? What about a central defender? We need a new centre-back God damn it!!
I imagine club management may have a few choice words ready in reply for them - Ozil, Walcott and of course Bacary 'Centre Bac' Sagna.
A loyal and effective right-back now re-imagined as two defenders for the price of none.
Ooh he's almost like a brand new defensive signing......not.
On a separate note regarding Bale - His metamorphosis into a Cristiano Ronaldo look-a-likey is reminiscent of the plot from that 90s stalker thriller film Single White and Female.
Like a football and soap opera-obsessed Mystic Meg I can see Bale’s interaction with Ronaldo unfold before my eyes.... Ronaldo is coaxed into taking Bale under his immaculately tanned and waxed wing.
Ancelotti urges CR7 to show Bale how to perfect his free kick stance and patented goal celebration, without having a single hair move out of place.
Ronaldo then suffers an inexplicable, dramatic loss of form and fails to score in four matches (turns out his protégé has a CR7 looking voodoo doll hidden in his locker)
Bale (in Dynasty villainess mode without shoulder pads) approaches a crestfallen Cristiano in the Bernabeu changing rooms. He hisses the following words into his ear: "I stole your hair do, your pink tank top and your free kick pose. Now I am going to steal your galatico status b1tch!!!
"No more Ballon d’Or!! You're a worker ant now. I'm the goal scoring Queen Bee. Mwahahaha”.